Events companies take over lobola negotiations

• Locals abandon traditional beliefs
• African tradition dying a slow death
• Should lobola be abolished?

By Kundai Marunya

“Want to pay roora/lobola for your beloved? Don’t know how to go about it? Relax, we got you covered…” reads one advert by an events company which offers all kinds of “traditional services” for their growing, mainly diaspora clientele.
Lobola ceremonies themselves have changed – a dash of modernity has been added complete with matching attires, cakes, PA systems, a DJ and MC, décor, catering services and all the other urban trappings.
The unbelievable part is where the events company provides a go-between (munyai) and his advisers (relatives) to handle lobola negotiations.
This has become one of the most sought-after services as various people seeking to get married the traditional way either avoid using their relatives, for one reason or the other, or have no idea how to go about it.
Many people have lost touch with their roots that when need be, traditional services, be they lobola negotiations or bride’s first rites, are now offered for hire.
Normally, these duties would be conducted by aunts and uncles but modernity, Westernisation and individualism have destroyed the extended family unit.
These lobola-related services are an expansion from the now accepted “mourners for hire” who are paid to cry, sing and show deep bereavement, which started few years ago.

EVOLVING

In the beginning, the bride and her intended would consult locals on the customs of a particular area for a small token.
However, event companies have taken advantage of the knowledge gap to make a killing. Who can blame them?
They consult traditional specialists from that particular area and accompany those in need of the services.
“I identified the huge knowledge gap when my niece got married,” said events planner Eugene Mangwiro.
“I realised most of our relatives did not know how to proceed with the whole bride’s first rites, and as the aunt I had to extensively consult with the elders so that we would not bring shame on our family.”
From the knowledge acquired during her consultation, Mangwiro enhanced her services from the usual wedding and party planning business to include the service she now calls “Muroora For Hire”.
“We had been hired to cater for a lobola ceremony but our client did not know how to conduct negotiations. I ended up taking over and providing the service for the couple,” she said.
Mangwiro learnt the hard way that lobola negotiations vary from one to the other.
“Our client was paying lobola to a member of the Kore Kore tribesmen in Mt Darwin,” she said.
“Their practices are different from those of the Zezuru, which we had familiarised with. We only got to learn about this after breaking a few rules which we were fined for.
“I, however, swiftly sought consultation from an elder in that area to remedy the situation, and in the end, all went smoothly.”
Traditionalists have long warned of the dangers of cultural erosion that came as a result of colonialism and then globalisation.
In the long run, some practices might be completely abandoned.
“It’s sad how we have lost touch with our culture,” said traditionalist Bernard Makoni.
“This is largely because of a shift in religion that saw many shunning traditional practices, which were regarded as evil. This is wrong as we worship the same God.”
Makoni said ignorance plays a huge part in the erosion of culture.
“You find that the only remaining strong practice is that of lobola payments because of the greediness of some people. Lobola was never meant to be selling one’s daughter but just a show of commitment.”
Various women’s rights groups are advocating for a divorce from the culture of paying bride price as it objectifies women.
Local lawyer and women rights activist Dr Priccilar Vengesai even went an extra mile seeking to abolish the lobola practice by petitioning the Constitutional Court.
She said she hoped “this would free millions of women who are treated as commodities by this cultural practice”.
“My main problem with lobola is first of all that it puts a wife and a husband on a hierarchical position such that their positions are not equal from the onset and this is contrary to Section 56 of the Constitution of Zimbabwe,” Dr Vengesai argued.
“Marriage is a significant turnaround point in every human being’s life, yet a woman is denied an opportunity to give her views and opinions in a matter which determines her future and her life.
“Further, because of lobola, marriage starts on an unequal footing with parties being treated differently. From the onset of lobola negotiations, the bride is not treated on equal terms with the husband.”
Had she been successful in getting the country’s highest court to abolish lobola practices, the country would have lost one of the few traditions that remain strong. Nhau/Indaba